I related to and agree with that statement. Losing a parent is a very painful traumatic experience. At least it is for me. My sister is 9 years older and my brother is 7 years older. As a result, for a significant portion of my teenage years, all of my college years and all of my adult years; it felt as if I had exclusive access to my parents.
Even as an adult, there would be the traditional weekly Sunday phone calls, no matter where I lived. I was also free to call my Mom any time under any circumstance. I developed a great deal of confidence in dealing with any situation because I had someone a phone call away. Over the last several years as we lived in St. Louis, we had the privilege of having Mom close by.
In an instant, that was all over.
There is apparently is nothing that can be done to compensate for the loss. Life is completely different than before. At times, I don't even feel like the same person. I have a wonderful family and friends however they all have lives and challenges of their own.
Right after the funeral there is always the friendly phone call or visit or even some comfort food. That rapidly came to and end as people get back to normal. I have yet to find my way back to normal. There are times when I would like to have a conversation with someone; then I change my mind and want people to leave me alone. I think the only conversations that I have are via this blog or posts on the internet.
There are those who would state that somehow I need to reach out to others if I want to talk. Sometime I think, why doesn't anyone just call out of the blue to see how I am doing or feeling. Then I come to the realization that the only one that did that in the past was my Mom. Those phone calls compensated for everything else. People tend to call when they want something or need something. That's ok, that's what people do.
One day things will return to normal. Just not today.
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